I like to thing of myself as a very productive person. The more I already have to do, the more I get done on the side so I often end up crazily busy, enjoying most of it and feeling good about myself. But then, I end up in situations like the one last night. Suddenly, there is nothing that that is waiting to be done. It's a friday night so I went home from uni and left my books in my locker. My current sewing project is finished, photographed and blogged about. My room is cleaned up. Somebody else is responsible for dinner.
So there I stand, in my room, and stare out the window for a while. I light the candles. I blow them back out. I go to the kitchen and chat with my flatmates. I go back upstairs. All the while, there is this little voice in my head that keeps telling me that I am wasting my time."But you have been waiting for this. You had so many plans! Now, quickly, do it! Before it's too late again!" So I drag myself up from my bed and read through my list of future projects that I was really excited about at some point. None of them appeal to me and I don't have the resolve to motivate myself so I stare out the window for a bit more. I'm tired but I feel that it is too early to go to bed. At some point, a sense of failure creeps, killing the mood and destroying any creativity left. At this point, I often give up and go to bed anyway but that is the wrong solution.
The right thing to do is to realise that it is okay. It's okay to do nothing, to take a rest, to just sit there for a while and watch the candles burn. It's okay to go to bed if I'm early and feel like it, even if it is early. I deserve it and even if I hadn't been so busy, doing nothing for a while is permitted. It doesn't make me lazy, it doesn't make me uncreative. It just means I am taking a rest, freeing my head, getting ready for new things.
While I was sitting there, my toughts wandered back to a project I had been thinking about which I then promptly started because it looked like fun. I didn't even have to motivate myself to do so.
Do you ever get into situations like this? How do you usually get out again?
Beeing idle is acceptable for me as long as it pleases me. Beein idle is also important to stay creative in the long term.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am sick of beeing idle, I start an activity. Sometimes the activity from my list looks quite unpleasent, but after working for a short time on it I like it.
"Der Appetit kommt beim Essen" ;).