Do you know that feeling, when a situation has served its purpose and it is time to move on? I have really enjoyed living with other people for the past four years.* It’s been great fun and especially the last two years have seen a tight group of friends sharing their lives. We cook together, we go out together, we do sport together. Of course not all the time but often enough to feel like more than “just” sharing a flat. We have had our highs and lows but there have been many more highs.
Still, with all that change looming ahead,I feel it might be time to move on soon. My feet are getting itchy and I find myself closing my door more and more. I want my own space, maybe just with the Mister, where I don’t constantly feel like I have to compromise with a variety of different people all the time. I want to know who exactly is in the house and not get surprised by seeing somebody on my way to the bathroom. I want to have clearly assigned responsibilities, I’m so tired of the cleaning debate, the noise debate, the “who left that in the fridge too long” debate.
Unfortunately, the chances of getting my own place any time soon are very slim. More education means more years on a tight budget, possibly in an expensive city. So I will have to wait it out, shutting my door and clearing out the fridge regularly. I don’t like it.
Does anybody have any hints and tips on the situation?
*For those of you who don’t know, I have spent the past two years in a shared flat with three housemates, the Mister, Ava and Squeak. Before that, I spent another two years in shared accommodation.
My personal opinion is that you start looking for your own space. It can be do-able for relatively cheap (even in expensive cities), but it requires a fair bit of effort to find somewhere. Even just knowing that you're looking for a way out might help you.
ReplyDeleteAlso - I'm similar to you. I loved sharing in my early twenties until I was about 25, and just wanted my own space. Some shared situations I was in were literally wonderful (I shared with my sister and one of my best friends for a year, for example). But others were really tough.
One piece of advice I'd give is to make your bedroom your hideaway place. Dress it up as nice as possible - maybe get a comfy chair, or big bookcase, and some nice prints for the walls. Then you've got somewhere to escape to when shared living is getting annoying.
Sorry for the essay!
Oh, I love it when people write an essay :)
DeleteThe problem with having our own space isn't the money. The problem is that I can't commit to anything for the moment, because I don't know what I am going to be doing any time soon. Most contracts run a minimum of 9 month. Luckily this is a problem that should solve itself in a year but until then, I will have to live with whatever comes my way.
I really like my bedroom and it is very much my space. Unfortunately, because it doubles as the Misters and my joined bedroom, I don't always have access too it. We sleep at very different times. We are working on that issue though.
I know the situation… But before i moved in two shared flats last year, in two cities.., i lived alone. Had my own place, no other people and there mess.. I miss it!
ReplyDeleteKnow i live just in one shared flat and can't move, because i'm twice a week in the university 250 km away from my home.. a lot extra coasts.. And Berlin is really expansive too.
I think about rearrange my room and maybe buy some new things (that i can use in my own flat when i'm moving) to feel as well as possible in my shutted door room (like my previous speaker says). This can't sweeping problems with roommates away, but you have your hiding place. And maybe you can let your problems outside the door.
I just did something like that. We went to Ikea the other day and I finally replaces that old ugly desk with a nice new one that fits much better. I think you are right. Making your room really your own space and minimizing the time spent in shared spaces can help and I have been trying to do that. Unfortunately, this is here seen as a sign of being slightly antisocial, because everybody else leaves their doors open for most of the time. I think I will just have to live with being throught of as a bit strange...
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